Men & Women

Difference  Between Women And Men

1.NAMES

If  Ayesha, Sara, Humaira and Kulsoom go out for lunch, they will call each other Ayesha, Sara, Humaira and Kulsoom.

If  Asad, Irfan, Sohail and Zafar go out, they will affectionately refer to each other  as Gandu, Chutia, Lun and Lora.

2.EATING  OUT

When  the bill arrives, Asad, Irfan, Sohail and Zafar will each throw in a Rs. 500, even  though it’s only for Rs. 1,325. None of them will have anything smaller and none  will actually admit they want change back.

When  the women get their bill, out come the pocket  calculators.

3.MONEY

A man will pay Rs. 100 for a Rs. 50 item he needs.

A woman will pay Rs. 50 for a Rs. 100 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on  sale.

4.BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the bought over from his amma’s place.

The  average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5.ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick the living shit out of them and silently wished they had their shotguns to really see how many lives the cat really has.

7.FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8.SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9.MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and  she does.

10.DRESSING  UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and juma prayers.

11.NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12.OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13.THOUGHT  FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

AND  FINALLY….

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As  they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

“Relatives  of yours?”

“Yep,”  the wife replied, “in-laws.”

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